What to focus on when you’re not getting minutes
At some point in every player’s journey, it happens.
You train all week. You feel ready. Game day comes . . . and the minutes don’t.
For players, this moment can feel frustrating and confusing.
For parents, it often brings questions, concern, and uncertainty.
These reactions are normal. Caring about playing time means you care about the game.
What matters most is how you respond to this moment.
First: normalize the experience
Not getting minutes does not mean:
You’re failing
You’re falling behind
You’ve lost trust forever
Your development
It means you’re navigating a part of the process that every developing player faces in some form.
Development is rarely linear. Progress often includes, pauses, setbacks, and periods of uncertainty. These moments are not detours. They are part of the journey.
What playing time reflects (and what it doesn’t)
Playing time is often interpreted as a verdict on ability. In reality, it reflects a combination of factors, including:
Tactical decisions for a specific game
Team needs in a particular moment
Learning priorities coaches are emphasizing
Levels of trust that are still forming
What it does not perfectly measure:
Long-term potential
Commitment
Value to the group
Future opportunities
Trust is rarely built in isolation on game day. It is built gradually, through consistent behaviors over time.
What coaches pay attention to when minutes are limited
When players are not playing as much, coaches often pay closer attention to what happens outside of the game.
Some of the most infuential signals include:
Training Behavior
How you train matters. Coaches notice, intent in repetitions, engagement when challenged, and effort regardless of frustration. Training is often where trust begins.
Response to Adversity
Moments of disappointment reveal important information through body language, communication with teammates, and reaction after mistakes. Composure and resilience stand out; especially, when things are not going your way.
Coach-ability
Being coachable is a skill. It shows up in listening openly to feedback, applying corrections consistently, and asking questions with curiosity rather than entitlement. Players who demonstrate this tend to earn clarity and trust over time.
Consistency
Consistency is often the separator. Show up the same way on good days, on difficult days, and when attention is limited. This reliability helps coaches make confident decisions.
What you can control
You may not control the lineup. You do control your preparation.
Productive areas of focus include:
Training with purpose, not emotion.
Owning your current role.
Seeking clarity rather than guarantees.
Reflecting honestly after sessions.
Staying connected and invested as a teammate.
These behaviors compound. Coaches notice patterns before they make decisions.
For parents, supporting without adding pressure
This period can be challenging to navigate as a parent.
Support is often most effective when it looks like:
Listening more than solving
Avoiding post-game analysis in emotional moments
Reinforcing effort, habits, and patience
Trusting the process rather than rushing conclusions
Sometimes the most helpful messages is simple.
“I see how hard this is, and I’m proud of how you’re handling it.”
A Final thought
Not playing is not the end of development.
in many cases, it’s where deeper growth begins.
Players who learn how to respond to adversity build resilience, gain self-awareness, earn trust over time, and develop habits that last beyond a single season. If minutes are limited right now, stay engaged.
Your response today is shaping the player you are becoming.
Evidence & Further reading
Albert Bandura (1997).
Self-efficacy: The exercise of control.
https://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Bandura/Bandura1997SE.pdfEdward Deci & Richard Ryan (2000).
The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior.
https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2000_DeciRyan_PI.pdfU.S. Soccer (n.d.).
Creating a positive learning environment for player development.
https://www.ussoccer.com/stories/2019/07/creating-a-positive-learning-environment
